Bloggology Profiles: Miffy, Great Mother of Madness

Miffy has preferred to shroud herself in shadow before this, but has for some reason only known by herself chosen to reveal herself now. More information on the Grand Duchess Miffy and her Handmaidens will be revealed in the upcoming "Giant Bloggology Text File".

Patrick's charm lies in his innocence. He loves all, hugs all, forgives all. But sometimes idealism doesn't get the job done. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices. But Patrick is too kind-hearted and loving to do so, so this is where Miffy comes in. She is the Great Dark Goddess, the Necessary Evil, the One Who Gets The Dirty Work Done. Miffy is the Rhymer, the Riddler, The Mysterious. She speaks only in rhymes, riddles and really bad engrish, because if she were to talk normally, people would go mad just listening to her speak. Nobody, even the most intelligent person in the world, is even fundamentally prepared for the pure, distilled truth that Miffy has come to comprehend through her devouring of a million minds.

Her names are as many as the Handmaidens who March in her name. Miffy, Great Mother of Madness, Relentless Ravager of Reason, Dread Desolator of Discernment, Muncher of Minds, Devourer of Delusion, Inscrutable Ingester of Intellect, Biter of Brains, Binger of Brilliance, Consumer of Comprehension, Grim Gobbler of Genius, Slurper of Sense, Swallower of Sanity, She-Without-Emotion-Or-Mercy, the Cerebral Chomper, Unforgiving Underminer of Understanding, "Heartless Bitch" (Miffy No Realy Like That Last One =x -M.). The list is as unending as the universe, and it grows with her great Legion, for which there is no beginning and no end.

Miffy is black and white, darkness and light, order and chaos, kind and unkind. She exemplifies the phrase "the ends justify the means". This, however, does not mean that she is evil in any way (taking evil to be society's definition of it, of course). Far from it. She has existed since the dawn of time, part of the shadow in Patrick's benevolent psyche. When the vile Puterthetans (then called Shadowkin) revolted against Patrick, Miffy, then the leader of one of the most influential Matrichial Shadowkin Clans, chose to give up her power and go against the Shadow Council, refusing to rebel against the divine All-Father. Many of her loyal handmaidens chose to stand by her, and till today, they continue to form the ranks of her great Legion, standing vigil against the violent, relentless Puterthetans and scouring the world of stupidity. Miffy's existence takes society's rigid, badly conceived notions of good and evil and turns them all inside out. She is a complex creature, much like many of the great "villains" (see also: Saint Iago, Saint Lucifer, Saint Creasy, Saint Logan) of humanity. Her intentions are unknowable, her methods dubious at best, but if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that everything she does is for the best of starfishkind.


"But we just ate Hilary Clinton's brain this morning! If we eat a PE teacher's brain today we're going to get food poisoning from all the delusion - I think we should go for something lighter, like George Bush's."
-Miffy conferring with her Shadow-Rainbow Council of Elite Handmaidens, deciding which human's brain they shall consume next.