Patrick Ponders Philosophy!

We now return from Miffy's Mandated Hiatus to bring you deep thoughts from the mind of Our Divine All-Father, Patrick. Each week, Patrick will analyse and deconstruct prominent philosophical arguments and theories, and through doing so, HE shall dispense glittering gems of truth like only a being of HIS glorious infinite wisdom can.

This week, Patrick Ponders ... The Ontological Argument!

Well then, Lord, You who give understanding to faith, grant me that I may understand, as much as You see fit, that You exist as we believe you to exist, and that You are what we believe You to be. Now we believe that You are something than which nothing greater can be thought. Or can it be that a thing of such a nature does not exist, since 'the Fool has said in his heart there is no God'? But surely, when this same fool hears what I am speaking about, namely, 'something-than-which-nothing-greater-can-be-thought', he understands what he hears, and what he understands is in his mind, even if he does not understand that it actually exists. For it is one thing for an object to exist in the mind, and another thing to understand that an object actually exists. Thus, when a painter plans beforehand what he is going to execute he has [the picture] in his mind, but he does not yet think that it actually exists because he has not yet executed it. However, when he has actually painted it, then he both has it in his mind and understands that it exists because he has now made it. Even the Fool, then, is forced to agree that something-than-which-nothing-greater-can-be-thought exists in the mind, since he understands this when he hears it, and whatever is understood is in the mind. And surely that-than-which-a-greater-cannot-be-thought cannot exist in the mind alone. For if it exists solely in the mind even, it cannot be thought to exist in reality also, which is greater. If then that-than-which-a-greater-cannot-be-thought exists in the mind alone, this same that-than-which-a-greater-cannot-be-thought is that-than-which-a-greater-can-be-thought. But this is obviously impossible. Therefore there is absolutely no doubt that something-than-which-a-greater-cannot-be-thought exists in both the mind and reality.

-Some Old Geezer Who Obviously Didn't Get Laid Enough, 1078

Patrick's Expert Evaluation: Eat-shit-and-die.